Finally
Today is Friday and I self-declared that it is a little holiday for me. I really did not have a good sleep because of the projects especially FOM. The last few days of the term break was even more unbearable for me because I was struggling to complete FOM project on time. This time round, I dare not promise my friends to go out with them and you are not wrong to say I rejected them again because of the FOM project. I am lucky enough for not falling sick. For WCD, I completed my part on the first week of the term break and only got it back last week. Then few days ago, I continued doing my part again. I guess I have to spend more time with my friends in the coming holidays. I feel that I have let them down especially a friend. I promised to go out with him for a least a year already but I still haven't met him up. He is not the only person. I just feel that during school weeks, studies should be on top priority then follow by my CCA although I am so slack.=( I keep on doing irrelevant things like reading and chatting on the phone. Anyway, I am so sorry, my friends.
A friend asked Lei Sim and I a question today. If a classmate hardly pays attention in class and does not study hard for exam and he is still able to top the class, will be you be jealous? I answered him with a firm ‘no’. Then he asked us which was supposed to be me, won’t you feel anything? Lei Sim said she feels weird about it. Well, my answer is no again. I asked him if let say everyone scored average and you scored 70 which was the top, would you feel happy? He shook his head. You see my point? This is also top of everyone but it is not your desire result. I feel that the only competitor should only be you, yourself. You should try to win yourself for everything. In this way, you will improve. If not, your result could at least remain the same standard. Most importantly, you will not hurt anyone.
Winning or even getting first is the reward of your hard work. The process of working towards your goal is even more fruitful and meaningful than it. I asked my sister this question while we were having our dinner just now. Her reaction was big. She said she hates this type of people. I guess I am the abnormal one. My sister’s results are always better than mine but they never act as a source of motivation for me to work hard. I am wondering why too. I hardly or never even feel jealous of others' good result but I will only feel proud for him/her. Don’t you feel that when you compare yourself with your friends or even anyone else, the relationship between both of you will turn sour? I just don't like to compete with others and also don't like others to compete with me.
Happy little holiday to Chu Er.
