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all about this dreamer

This is a public blog of mine. Frequent posting is not expected.

Capricious Chu Er/21F
she is someone who..



~is a typical aquarian

~is extremely fragile

~plans ahead

~is extremely emotional and sensitive

~can be unforgiving(or rather would avoid)to people who use harsh,insensitive or/& irresponisible words on her

~is quite independent

~has high determination

~is simple yet complicated and deep

~can get very impulsive if anything goes out of her way

~does not express her real feelings/thoughts well

~spends a lot of time in her own thoughts

~usually means it when she mentions something for twice or more regardless of whether she says it in a serious or joking manner



~certainly feels very pissed off when one tries to act as if he/she understands her very well when it is not at all!

~certainly cannot stand people who commend about her behaviour when they are also doing the same thing!

~hates to be accused by people especially with no good reason!

~hates last minute work and/or work with no efforts put in!

~hates to be late


~wishes to get freedom soon

~wishes life is smoother than before

~wishes to be a good presenter/speaker

~wishes that her future is what she wants to persue



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Designer: Edna
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Sunday, July 31, 2011




Hey Batam, we met again!


If you are anticipating for a lighter entry, this would be the one which you are looking for. Oh yes, I am back from Batam last evening.

Before the trip, I was worried about a few issues such as staying in a hotel (as I heard too much horror stories with regard to staying in a hotel) and also looking after someone. Most importantly, I skipped one lesson for this trip. Most people (including Sis) encouraged me to go because the chances are, I might not even pay full attention to it.

On the first night, we reached the hotel later than they had planned to, hence we could not go for our massage session. As such, we had to skip to our second activity which was to enjoy our spread of seafood! In fact, we could have gone for our massage first but we could not because the hosts had already ordered the food for us.

All I could say is, I had not tried so much seafood at one go before! However, I did not really eat fried food because fried food is never really my cup of tea. Also, I drank very little beer because I did not want to get drank. =p One of the most unexpected outcomes of this trip was, a few of them got drank. Not forgetting the fact that I really laughed my head off that night because the “bully” at work was the joke of the night. In the end, I became the nurse of the night because the “work” was thrown to me. Even so, it was not a wasted effort because I was pretty entertained to see the drunken state of the “bully”. Of course, I would not let this chance slip by without getting my “revenge” done. *evil smirk* On the way back to Singapore, I related the entire episode to the “bully” which brought about disbelief in him. HAHAHA. Otherwise, my first night there was more peaceful than I expected it to be. Oh yes, my room mate told me that I did not snore at all. =D

On the next day, I woke up at about 7am which I guess it was due to the fact that I slept in a stranger place, hence I could not really sleep well. After which, we went to have our breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant which tasted horrible to me.

After which, it was the start of our adventure! The host was pretty nice to help us hire two cabs so that they could bring to any place which we requested for (of course we paid for it ourselves). The first stop was to a shopping mall. However, it was a shame that we did not manage to shop in there as it was still very early. Nevertheless, something else made up for it. It was of course the first massage session of the trip! Most including myself chose the scalp and foot massage which only cost S$26! My hair still feels so smooth now! =D

Following there, we quickly rushed to a place for our lunch. Most ordered the Soto Ayam which was not to my liking at all. Luckily my ice milk tea was not too bad. Of course, I could make a much tastier ice milk tea! =p It was a quick lunch as we had to rush back to the hotel to check out our room. Since we still had so much time to spare, we decided to use its facility – the Jacuzzi and Sauna. There is always a first time for everything which we try and so it was my first time trying it too. I must say that it was pretty relaxing!

Finally, we managed to spend the time away so that we could go for our long awaited full body massage!

Not that the massage was not good but rather the entire experience was a little awkward to me. Luckily, I went for a back massage once in Singapore before so at least I knew that I need to remove my top (including my bra) otherwise I would be an embarrassment. =/ However, what I was not prepared was that, the masseur would view my entire breasts as well. She must have thought that I was quite funny because I would use the towel to cover them whenever I can during the entire session. Since I opted to do a body scrub as well, it would mean that she had to help me scrub my breasts as well. Okay, at least she asked me if she could do it. The way she asked me was pretty funny.

She: “Can I do *pointing at my breasts* here?”

Me: *Smiling shyly and shook my head*

Yes, I really feel uncomfortable for another person other than myself to touch my breasts. (Okay, hopefully I do not have any underage reader=/) Anyway, my skin still feels so smooth after the scrub. =D

After the massage, we went to retrieve our luggage and headed to the ferry terminal. Last but not least, we had a sumptuous dinner at this open air hawker near to Saint James.

Overall, I did not regret making the choice of joining them for this trip and wish it was a longer one. Now, I am suffering a hangover from it. Urgh, I need to be back to work to tomorrow. =(

All right, it is time for a short nap before I do my revision. Ha. I know it is weird to have it now but I woke up at 7.30am earlier on for my run. Not only do I have a need to train for my 10km race but also to shed off the additional and unwanted fats!

Before I end off, I want to say that I still love Batam! =) A friend and I are thinking of going to Vietnam either this or next year. I am positive that I would love there as well. =D




I dreamnt of you at 7/31/2011 10:15:00 AM




Wednesday, July 27, 2011




River of tears


Recently, I wonder if I should
resume my habit of penning down the 3 things which make me smile everyday. Reason being, things on my end have been getting worse and I am having the thought of giving up on both my studies and work again. I need a reason to stay strong and continue with whatever I have been working hard for. Is it me or the things which I deal with? I am unsure. My fighting spirit is diminishing soon. Yes, I am grateful to have people constantly encouraging me and listening to my endless complaints but ultimately, it still depends on myself. This is like an endless war. Again, I wonder how war survivors survived the war when things would be far worse for them. When I wake up in the morning, I wish could sleep for the rest of the day, week, month and year because I am reluctant and have lost the motivation to fulfill my obligations. Yes, I am a coward. Scold me.

I think…I don't want to share my problems with anyone anymore because I feel guilty for doing so. I hate to make anyone worry. Let me keep everything to myself, okay? Sorry, I really want to post something positive but it is just so difficult. Who is willing to elope with me? I can do housework, cook a little and be a good entertainer if required.

My apologies for endless of unhappy entries. Perhaps I will write a happier one for the next entry because I will be going to Batam for a short trip with my colleagues over the weekend. =) (Like finally I could go overseas with my friend/colleagues, right?)



I will continue to smile and laugh like nobody’s business. Let me rot.


I dreamnt of you at 7/27/2011 08:07:00 PM




Sunday, July 17, 2011



Time check: 3 weeks


Within this period of time, I have experienced many things which I should have when I was much younger. However, due to so much restriction in the past, I did not go through that. But again, would I be a much different person if I did so? I don't knAdd Videoow.

It seems like a little too late but now I know how a night life is like. But no, I have not picked up the habit of smoking yet and am not addicted to the night life. In the past, I used to wonder how it would feel like to vomit after too much drinks and now I know how terrible it was to puke as a result of that. Additionally, I know how drinks could temporary stop you from thinking especially you are down. And I am ashamed to admit that I asked a friend out for a drink on one of the days where I was really down. It helped me on that night because I was a little drunk to cry after that. Luckily for me, I have not experienced any hangover yet. = / Oh well, school is starting again so I will cut down a lot on drinks.

Sometimes I wish the whole world could understand how I feel instead of assuming how I feel. I get so tired that sometimes I would stare at them blankly and keep quiet instead of arguing and correcting what they say about me. My usual way is to smile like an idiot. Whatever. School is about to start again and I know I will start to cry a lot again because it will simply drain my emotional and mental health. I will not want to share how terrible it is to do a full time job and a part time degree as much as my first year. Period. The point is, you know that you will be entering Hell but you still have to enter it before you could achieve something you want. And, the worse is, I secretly hope that one day some people could understand what I am going through and stop expecting so much from me. I know that it will be an empty hope but what to do, I am always very silly. =(

Hello school and new friends! Goodbye freedom and see you in a year’s time! =’(



I dreamnt of you at 7/17/2011 01:16:00 AM