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all about this dreamer

This is a public blog of mine. Frequent posting is not expected.

Capricious Chu Er/21F
she is someone who..



~is a typical aquarian

~is extremely fragile

~plans ahead

~is extremely emotional and sensitive

~can be unforgiving(or rather would avoid)to people who use harsh,insensitive or/& irresponisible words on her

~is quite independent

~has high determination

~is simple yet complicated and deep

~can get very impulsive if anything goes out of her way

~does not express her real feelings/thoughts well

~spends a lot of time in her own thoughts

~usually means it when she mentions something for twice or more regardless of whether she says it in a serious or joking manner



~certainly feels very pissed off when one tries to act as if he/she understands her very well when it is not at all!

~certainly cannot stand people who commend about her behaviour when they are also doing the same thing!

~hates to be accused by people especially with no good reason!

~hates last minute work and/or work with no efforts put in!

~hates to be late


~wishes to get freedom soon

~wishes life is smoother than before

~wishes to be a good presenter/speaker

~wishes that her future is what she wants to persue



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Designer: Edna
Base codes: Tammy
Brushes: Inobscuro, At0mica, Echoica, Veredgf, Puzzle
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Others: Adobe Photoshop CS


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Thursday, July 26, 2007




A Short entry

It was already about 9.45pm. When I reached Commonwealth MRT station, I actually asked myself mentally, “is this Queenstown already?” After 5 seconds of thinking, I replied to myself, mentally of course, “eh..no..This is Commonwealth MRT station only.” My mind was very blank when I reached Queenstown MRT station. As I was coming down from the escalator, I saw a GEMS classmate. I was thinking to myself again “eh..shit..is this Queenstown.” because it was my first time seeing him at Queenstown. Nevertheless, I waved to him and he asked whether I stay here. As I replied saying yes, I thought to myself “phew~this is Queenstown.” I may sound like I am joking but this was totally how I felt after my project discussion on my journey home. I wonder how come so much of my brain cells were drained from that. I am seriously tired but glad that I did not lose my temper easily. In the past, when I was tired, anything could piss me off easily but not now, I guess.


Anyway, I just read a story online. It is really very nice. It is I Believe You by Low Kay Hwa. The link to the story is http://www.goodybooks.com/ibelieveyou.htm. However, it is uncompleted.

I came across this very meaningful phrase from the story which is “The longest wait is not created by the amount of time passed, but by your mind”

Chu Er, please get this into your tiny brain.

It is extra meaningful to me because I am usually the one waiting for people. Yes, I am. =( I seriously hate it (countless number of times), not even 5minutes. But, I am trying hard to love it. Maybe some invisible words are printed on my face “please be late” that make most of my friends to be late all the time despite the fact that they clearly know that I hate to wait for people. I am trying to love it. I am trying to be nonchalant towards it. I am trying to be indifferent towards it. I am trying very hard. Even though I may not say or show anything, I seriously still care (countless number of times). But, for the sake of friendship, I shall fake it.

I have thought about it already. If I am rich enough in the future, when my client is late for just 5 minutes, I would just walk off without listening to any explanation. I feel that if you are late for such an important stuff, it shows that it is not that important to you and you are not responsible to what you are doing SO why should I waste my precious time waiting for you? OKAY. That is just a wishy-washy thought of mine. People who know me well would know that I will not do it.

I am still thinking why am I like this – as in not having any patience to wait for people.


I dreamnt of you at 7/26/2007 11:52:00 PM




Tuesday, July 24, 2007




Nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks


Here I am, going to introduce another nice novel which I have just completed. My sister commented that how on earth am I so free to read a book now? Seriously, I do not care. I just realised that reading is really good. It brings me to another world which does not belong to me, but the world of the main characters and surely breaks my trend of thoughts. This is good because for the moment, I was free from what I do not want to think or do.

Anyway, please allow me to summarize the story as usual.

Actually, I forced myself to get into the story. The feeling of giving up is unbearable and sad so I decided to read on to the very last page even how uninteresting the story was in the middle part.

The story itself is rather confusing. You really have to concentrate and remember some parts when reading. I am not sure of others who read this before but this is how I felt when reading.

The main character - Adrience Willis lost two men-one through a divorce and another one whom she still loved and changed her life, lost his life while attempting to save his son. Seriously, I thought to myself “hey, not bad that I did not cry at all” But, little did I know that I started tearing at the last two chapters of the story when I knew that the man whom she deeply loved, lost his life.

This is all I could say. I do not really know how to summarize this story. The setting of story is such that it all took place in one day. But, in that day, you would know the whole story of the main character. She was advising her daughter who lost his husband months ago to get back to normal life – to concentrate on her children, not his death.

This story is not that bad after all. I think the author really spent a lot of time and effort on plotting the story. If you want to know, borrow it from any community library.


I dreamnt of you at 7/24/2007 09:20:00 PM




Thursday, July 12, 2007



Pics of POLY 50


We took all these pictures after our race.


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Candid shot. *Can't you take a nicer side of me? >.< =p

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Handsome guy(Jason) and cute guy(Khow Ming) =x I do not remember the reason(s) for calling them that but the reason(s) must be very lame. =p



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A group photo without someone. =p


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Clare and Wendy. These two girls are always so cheerful. =)


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The other two girls were already prepared to take the photo but I was laughing. It was definitely not meant to be a candid shot. I laughed at the moment when I saw someone-Lester stepping into the club house. He reminded me that everyone missed him out of the group photo. We did not realise it until the photographer was gone. I think someone asked "where is Lester?" Then, we stared at each other and our captain-Chin Liat and started laughing together. It was really so funny. We did not mean to do it. =)


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All the guys! I was the photographer. I dislike saying "1, 2, 3" when helping others to take photos so 1 or 2 were unprepared in the photo and they told me to retake again. So, I requested to say "2, 3" instead. =p Basically, while taking, I kept laughing. I am wondering why too.


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I was still the photograhper for this. =p But, I left Chin Liat out so got to retake again. =(


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I am really so sorry for doing such a bad job! It is obvious that I kept laughing through out the photo-taking. =p This picture is unclear but it stilll took the HANDSOME side of them! =D


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Finally, this is our complete group photo! =)


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Another one! Khow Ming was biting onto our POLY 50 souvenir.


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Candid shot.


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Our shoes.


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Our fingers

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Goodbye



I wish to see them again. =(


I dreamnt of you at 7/12/2007 11:45:00 PM




Wednesday, July 11, 2007



Poly 50

I know it has been quite awhile since I last updated my blog. Basically, either I am too lazy, nothing interesting or meaningful to write about or nothing to write about.

Today, I participated in the Poly 50. There were 8 mentors including me in the team and 2 others who are not. So, some said we are representing mentoring club and some others said that it was under an open category. I think it is not that important. Before that, I was a little worried that I could not complete or run very slowly. One of them said the main aim is to complete and not compete. This definitely made me feel better. But, somewhat, when I stepped onto the running ground, I thought to myself that “oh my, why did I join this? What if I want to give up halfway through” But, after everything, I have not regretted joining it. All of us even thought of joining it again but we may not be in the same team again because some will be graduating this year. Completing Poly 50 gave us a sense of achievement. It was rather difficult to run though. We had to stop after every 200m then wait for our turn to run. Imagine doing this for 16 times (it might be for me or the girls only because the guys should have ran more)? I think I have lost 1kg through it. =x Anyway, we got into 38th position out of about 100 teams.

For me, I think this is quite okay because I had only done one training for this. My training was only running/jogging 3 rounds of 400 m and a trial race of relay of 800m among four people. For today, I actually ran 16 rounds of 200m. I thought I was going to faint any time while running. While running, I was having breathing difficulties which caused me to run slower. =( I think I should thank Lei Sim. If not of her, I might not be able to train - my only training. If no one looked after the laptop, what if it got lost? I would have to hold all the responsibilities and blames and even had to compensate for the lost. If I did not train, what if I totally had no stamina after a few rounds? Anyway, she came to look for me after my project discussion on that day and helped me to carry the laptop (which is meant for project) to the stadium, look after it for me and take to Queenstown MRT station for me! Basically, on that day, I was carrying my school bag, a shoe bag with two pairs of shoes and a laptop. She helped me to lighten my burden a lot. She even offered to help me to take it home for me. It was really so nice of her. The other person is Afiq. He helped me to take to lecture hall during change-over on last Thursday. After last week (3 days of carrying laptop from my house, walking with it all the time and taking it home AND Monday and Tuesday of doing the same thing), my shoulders, back and arms (only this morning till now) are in pain – sharp pain. Last night, I actually saw red marks on my shoulders even till this morning though it had become lighter. The bag which I carried today was only about one-third the weight of the laptop (yes, it is very heavy), but I still could feel the pain. Even without anything and just by swinging, I could feel it too. I seriously would rather work at HD or being canned by my parents because it is faster and less torturing. I am not exaggerating here.

Thanks for all peeps that have consoled me and cared for me! =) I appreciate it.

Two messages I received last night which cheered me up.

“…, if you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain” I find this sentence meaningful and motivated me.

“chu chu train..Err..Haha!” I was stunned when I saw this message because firstly, it came from someone unexpected and secondly, it was rather funny. I did laugh at that.

Anyway, I will miss my dear team members for Poly 50. Time spent together is short but it is another beautiful memory of my life. Thank you!

I realised something interesting while waiting for my turn to run. Some people ran with full speed while running whereas some tried their best to run. I could feel the never-give-up spirit among them and within us too. We cared for each other. This is something very warm and nice. =) I like this type of competition which is about trying your best and not always trying to outdo others.


I dreamnt of you at 7/11/2007 10:28:00 PM