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all about this dreamer

This is a public blog of mine. Frequent posting is not expected.

Capricious Chu Er/21F
she is someone who..



~is a typical aquarian

~is extremely fragile

~plans ahead

~is extremely emotional and sensitive

~can be unforgiving(or rather would avoid)to people who use harsh,insensitive or/& irresponisible words on her

~is quite independent

~has high determination

~is simple yet complicated and deep

~can get very impulsive if anything goes out of her way

~does not express her real feelings/thoughts well

~spends a lot of time in her own thoughts

~usually means it when she mentions something for twice or more regardless of whether she says it in a serious or joking manner



~certainly feels very pissed off when one tries to act as if he/she understands her very well when it is not at all!

~certainly cannot stand people who commend about her behaviour when they are also doing the same thing!

~hates to be accused by people especially with no good reason!

~hates last minute work and/or work with no efforts put in!

~hates to be late


~wishes to get freedom soon

~wishes life is smoother than before

~wishes to be a good presenter/speaker

~wishes that her future is what she wants to persue



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Designer: Edna
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Friday, July 11, 2008




Reflective self

Recently, I have been in a very grumpy mood. For most part of a day, I could keep rumbling on to myself. = (

I wish to stop for a moment to take a deep breath before moving on. I know it is impossible now. So, I have tried to make a few promises to myself:

NO emo-ing
NO unconstructive use of time like surfing net
NO thinking too much
NO day-dreaming



When you are being asked who the most important person is in your life, have you thought of who will immediately appear in your mind?

For me, it has been the same for most of my life. Although she may be demanding and unreasonable at times and can make me feel very hurt, disappointed and angry, she will always be that important in my life, I guess. I think she has done a lot for me that I feel that she could be my emotional support and give me a sense of assurance that I would be fine at times.

I always believe and feel that actions speak louder than words. Yes, I can be so touched, happy and glad at that instant if you were to say something nice to me. However, if you do not do anything to prove so, the magical feelings would be gone and I might even lose trust and confidence in you. Through the years, I am thankful, really very thankful for everything which she has done for me.

You know, I really hardly feel so worried for anything other than thinking a lot at times but I really feel so worried for her results now that I wish to give her all my luck so that she can excel in it. I always feel that her future is more important than mine. I guess the least I could do is to talk to her, let her vent her anger on me and encourage her.

I guess you might not read this but deep in my heart, I always hope and wish for the best for you. Never give up even until the last minute. Remember that you have me.


P.S. : I think I will not be posting any entry for 2 months.



I dreamnt of you at 7/11/2008 10:40:00 PM




Saturday, July 05, 2008




Handover ceremony


Lately, I have learnt how to be late. People who know me personally will know that I am a very, very time conscious person. Actually I wanted to be on time but someone reminded me to be late so I was late for half an hour. I was feeling guilty while I was walking to school. Upon reaching there, my guiltiness was gone and turned into regretful because I realised that I could have reached there even later. = / I swear that I have not changed at all. To me, it is one of my strengths so why should I have changed? I will be on time if I have to i.e. people to respect me and not to be late too.

At first, I was a little worried and therefore wondered whom I could sit with. But, to my relief, I saw Paula and Ervin. So, obviously, I sat with them. = D I had a good time talking with them that I was reluctant to leave my seat for some briefing for my duty later. = x

My duty was to be a prize presenter which I have not done before. I think it was rather fine. = )

Anyway, I think that today’s scene was a little sad that it made me feel emotional and felt like crying especially when I was watching the video. Chu Er was brave enough because she held her tears back. = D I seriously think that I am not suitable to attend this kind of event because I always feel like crying! = (

After which, I had a chat with some of the seniors. Like one of them mentioned, time passed by real fast. I was in Year one while he was in Year two when I knew him and he was in my first mentoring camp group – Beaubexton! It is so unbelievable. Well, I knew some of them through that camp too and they have already graduated! I am already missing some of them especially during mentoring camps and outings. = ( I guess because I feel so attached to them. Hope to see them soon. =)


In the evening when I was having my dinner, I saw an incident which instantly reminded me of some heartbreaking incidents and felt like crying too.

Someone’s crying immediately caught my attention followed by a woman’s loud and stern voice so I turned around to have a look. Then, I realised it was a mother beating her child. I overheard her saying something like I told you not to sit on the floor or something. In any way, I think it was a minor mistake and really, the way she hit and treated her child was like he had done a grave mistake. That scene definitely attracted the attention of a lot of people. I know it surely felt very sad, angry and embarrassing to get hit in the public like that. Isn’t her child her product of love? Why is she treating him like that? I really do not understand some parents at all. Why are they like this? WHY? Are they crazy, forgetful or what?

I swear that I would not treat my child/children like how she did if I ever had any.


I wish that I will never be reminded of those dreadful incidents again, can I?


I dreamnt of you at 7/05/2008 11:14:00 PM