Taking some time


I am feeling both happy and sad now. I wonder if my readers are surprised that I actually openly write that I am sad. *Shrug* Anyway, it is a mixed feeling.


For the past four days, I have learned a lot. I met some very nice people and really enjoyed being with them. To me, it seemed like I have known them for so long. I even met one of them for one or two times before but we did not manage to talk to each other until four days ago. We are fated to be friends. =D This period is supposed to be my most stressful one but because of them, I could not remember.

I realised something of myself too which is part of me is actually a cheerful self even though my problems can be overwhelming to the extent that I wish to give up at times. Even though my friends might not always be there for me, I can be the one who consoles me and it usually works. If you wonder how, I would say…for example, when I did not do well in something, I would tell myself that I have really done my best and there is nothing I can do and it is impossible that I can do well in everything (who does not hope to do well in everything?) and I might not be the worst.

And, I will think of something which might never come true, but it will definitely make me happy.

Is it pathetic? Not sure but at least I can manage to cheer myself up.

I can be very simple. If I am not in a good mood, all you have to do is to tell me that I am not alone and I am with you (but do not say this so often) and I will get better and sometimes, touched. It is even better if you could sit by my side.


Anyway, something which is quite coincident that is one of them who has two children, are aged 18 and 23 respectively and I am 18 and the other promoter is 23. What a beautiful coincident! =D

I wonder if we would meet again which I really hope to. I feel that the younger promoter and I had endless of things to say to each other and I really, really liked that feeling and I have always preferred a female companion (I am not a lesbian) because I feel more comfortable talking to girls. But… *shrug*

Anyway, I saw two primary friends on my way home. I knew them since Primary one and they will be going NS next month! Time flies and I think it is scary and…I need time to catch up. HA

I think I miss so many things so much but I have no power to bring them back.

I am fated to wait for something which I want even if I have tried my best to fight for it.


I am fated to be an independent self too. If you ask me, of course I do wish to depend on people because I am just a girl. I am not as strong and confident as I so much wish to be.