Yet another regret


I want to declare that I have been feeling very down for the past 2 weeks. I am having many sleepless nights. I really cannot stop thinking because it just hurts too much. No. I am not blaming anyone but myself. Maybe I deserve this ending but no, I am not giving up yet. I will wait for 2 years. You may think that it is impossible but I don't believe so. I will be strong. I will try my hardest to hold my tears back. I know that I screw it up once again but I am just so clumsy. Saying "Sorry" does not seem to fit the situation anymore because I think I used up the magic of it. Someone said when the time comes, it will make everything more rocky. But, from my knowledge, "it" is supposed to conquer all the difficulties, isn't it?


These 2 weeks make what I am doing now even more dreadful because I am not enjoying it anymore and I am not feeling too well. Another 10 months to go. =( One word to describe life now, bad. I am seriously thinking of letting go one of my committments so that I can have more free time with loved ones and for rest. Maybe I am using it to escape something but sometimes, it is really too hard on myself. My life is full of contradiction. Never to learn from me.

Chu Er, Press on!