Rules

I just want to write down something from my heart. I feel that a lot of rules are set by ourselves; we need not abide by those rules. Recently, I have been trying to convince myself that someone who is faithful and nice to you does not necessarily have to act according to this and that – which are all according to YOUR standard. I read it from somewhere that no one owes you a living and no one is obligated to do this and that for you. Yes, so I am trying hard to be independent because I am truly disappointed by a lot of incidents that I totally give up. I am just trying hard to pretend that everything is going normal and that I am fine. I am not, I am never fine.

Tell me how. I always swear to myself that I am not going to help this and that person anymore because whenever I need help, he/she just walked out on me. I always tell myself that I must learn to be hard-hearted but I really cannot bring myself to see others being helpless because I know how helpless you can be when no help is given to you.

Hey, there are times when it is based on facts but not that I am thinking too much so stop saying that I am thinking too much because it really hurts me a lot. Why does it seem that when others are voicing their views are not thinking too much but me? I have my own (human) rights too. I am so used to people saying this to me that I often say, "Okay, perhaps I am thinking too much." before them.

I am going to be more independent than before even though I still tear a lot. Why does it seem that my mood is not getting any better at all? I am seriously helpless. Call me a weakling please.


P.S.: The next few entries should not be any happier so if you dislike reading something of this, quit coming to my blog.