It has been
more than four months since I last updated this space! Since then, many things had changed and taken place in my life.
1. Dragonboat
– I have been part of a dragonboat team for about three months now. I am glad that I
decided to take up this sport as it is something new to me. Dragonboaters use
their waist more often than their arms hence those with huge arms are
definitely those who do weights. Undoubtedly, the vain Chu Er is not going to
do weights so that I can continue wearing my pretty clothes! As a result of
this sport, I decided to be more committed in running twice a week. Recently, I
also decided to do more workouts to strengthen my core muscles. In fact, I am quite demoralized by the fact that I am not fit enough to do some of the core exercises and that others could do it (whether effortlessly or non-effortlessly - the point is, at least they could do it). People who know me well enough will know that anything that others could do, I would expect myself to do it as well as or better than them. Hmm. Other than that, I love this
sport and am unsure when I will give up on this. Probably after I have
participated in a competition which I am unsure when it would happen given my
current standard. Hahaha.
2. I
had successfully transferred to another sector of my company for my job. Hope
everything will turn out well!
3. Is
it me or the society? Lately I find it hard to blend in. I usually would act on
what I say and seldom go back on my words. However, I realized that most people
usually suggest something for fun/ the sake of doing so which…is disturbing to
me. I think I need to be less serious. From now onwards, I will not take
initiative as often until the other party makes the first move. This way, I will
not get hurt and disappointed as easily. If I do not expect too much out of
something, I would experience less hurts and disappointments, yea?
4. I
just came back from Bangkok with one of my close friends almost three weeks
ago! It was a good trip where we had fun shopping and eating and I bought so
many new outfits that I am practically changing my entire wardrobe. In fact, I am
pretty pleased with my purchases as I have worn some of my old outfits for at
least three years already. According to most girls, we would have gotten sick
of it by now! Yes, I was rather sick of some for some time already but things
are not cheap here so I could only continue wearing them till this trip. Till now,
I have not worn all the new clothes yet! This goes to show how I had bought
during the trip! Woohoo!
5. People
come and go. While I am quite glad that some left, I wished some could stay a
little long.
6. I
got sabotaged by new colleagues to perform in a musical for my company’s Dinner
& Dance (D&D). While I am excited by the idea, I am a little
apprehensive of it since I have not performed for a decade already. I would not
know which role would be assigned to me until our first rehearsal on next
Tuesday (14 Oct 2014). On top of that, I volunteered to be the in-charge (IC)
of the performers. I figured out that there are more pros than cons in doing so
hence I volunteered for that. Anyway, if I did not, I think no one would.
6. I
realized that I have not entirely let go of my past especially when IT starts
saying nasty and hurtful words to/ about me. I wish IT could understand and be
enlightened by the amount of things I had to sacrifice for to earn what I have achieved today. I do not owe my success to them. I wish I could use money to buy three years of freedom and youth which I
lost. In fact, it is not entirely due to the loss of time and freedom I could not enjoy school life like many of my peeps. But rather, the fact that IT never shows appreciation and keeps demanding for more. In my opinion, I have already given all I could now but they think otherwise. When you have not given much even for emotional support, who are you to demand for more than what you deserve? Enough said. It is just heartbreaking at times. Sometimes when I thought I had forgiven IT, IT has to do or say something which entirely breaks my heart and I would stay away from IT and need to step a brave step forward to trust (that IT would not do or say anything that breaks my heart again) and forgive IT again. Nobody knows or understands how hard it is for me. I think this is one of the reasons why I have been keeping myself busy. By doing so, I would stop feeling the pain. I just want to be loved and appreciated. Sigh. Despite all the negative thoughts, I have been telling myself that due to
what I had gone through and experienced, it is easier for me to adapt to work
life than many of my peers. Hmmm… It is easier said than done.
