A random entry


For some reason, I thought of Chinese New Year which reminds me of some people like my granny. I am reminded of a conversation we had about my future. She will always tell me to study hard and get a decent cert and also to look for a good guy and get married. I will always tell her that I will and want her to see me get married. A warm and sincere advice from her always touches me.

Anyway, I have decided to work if I am put on duty at the call center because I feel that I will be happier – not due to earning more money. I am not money-minded – and I really dislike people for saying that to me. I think I will stop explaining why I need to work so hard because this will never end.

It is going to be mid December soon. What does it remind you of? Yes, 2009 is ending soon but other than that, it also means that I will start applying for university again. By hook or by crook – of course not illegally or by 'backdoor' method, I will get myself into a course which I am interested in. So, it also means that I will get really broke – I mean really broke this time with the additional expenses which consist my monthly school fees, notes and textbooks. Recently, I am really, really stressed over this especially when the braces idea comes into my plan. Anyway, I have to postpone it again because it is really not feasible now. Argh! I have been thinking of doing it since 14 years old and thought that I have enough money to do it now but after some calculation, I realize that I am wrong. Sigh. To be frank, sometimes, I really cannot help but to be envious and even jealous of people who are born with silver spoon because everything is being paid for.

I want to go overseas to study, eat without having to care that I have no money later on, learn another language, take up any interesting course, enjoy my school holiday which I never had ever since I entered Poly and have been working like a cow since I graduated from there and travel with my friends.



If you are a reader of my blog, you will know that I am planning to take photos for my 21st birthday as a part or form of my celebration because it is something I can keep for the rest of my life. I had a strong feeling that someone will not take it and after yesterday, I can conclude and confirm that my 6th sense is right all the time. Yea, whatever, I knew it.

STOP telling me about respecting you because I really can’t, for, I have endless of reasons for not respecting you and you have lost your respect many years ago.
STOP insulting and STOP looking down on me because I have endless of reasons for proving that you have no rights to.
STOP being a chauvinist because your every reasoning disgusts me – hey, having too much pride does not make you any richer, happier or more respectable but backfires.

I used to hate you but not anymore. I really give up because nothing I do will make any difference at all. I THINK you are a sadist, seriously. I will GLADLY tell you that I did not feel a tad of disappointment or anger at all yesterday. I did swear that I will not shed a single drop of tear due to you anymore, didn’t I? My plan will still go on even without you. Are you disappointed?



Sorry readers, I am just having some shitty days.