Morning entry

I had a good chat with Cedrick last night. Perhaps, like what he said, I should go out and enjoy myself and face the reality. Sigh. Luck is never on my side. I like my sunday job so I am reluctant to let go now. My tutee likes me so I will feel guilty to let go. Tell me, which is better, being hard-hearted or soft-hearted? I have been avoiding what I am supposed to face by making myself busy. I think it is hard to let go until I am being heard by you. Is it so hard to listen to what I have to say?

This reminds me of what happened when I was ten years old. My 2nd uncle (my dad's second eldest brother) was on his deathbed and my granny was at his side. My granny told him to sleep with ease because we would look after his family and she used her palm to close his eyes. I guess those were the words which he wanted to hear before going off peacefully.

For me, I just want to be heard. It has been a month and I am still holding onto it as strong as ever. No, I can't face it until you hear me out and until we have a chat.